I’ve noticed (with the help of family members and my SO) that I’ve become very negative, cynical and drained lately. Reading about burnout, I find all of the symptoms to be true for myself.
My job requires me to work on a single project full-time, and a couple of small side-projects. The management of the project is very chaotic and I feel more and more inadequate for my position. Priorities constantly change and just looking at the week’s schedule in Monday, I can tell the we’re not going meet the set goal by Friday. It has been like that for more than a year. It doesn’t help that I’ve become very pessimistic about the main project’s future.
Outside of work, I don’t have much free time. The little I have, I try to spend with my loved ones. Hobbies and other interests are on the back burner.
As the title implies, I don’t have the option of quitting or taking a sabbatical at the moment.
I know kbin is not a replacement for therapy but I was just wondering if anyone has been through this and found anything helpful other that distancing from their current workplace.
I was in a similar boat last year and went back to counselling for some coping strategies. The most helpful things for me were constantly reminding myself not to worry about things out of my control, remembering that I couldn’t possibly be inadequate because all the evidence said I was doing fine (good reviews, good feedback, not fired!), and keeping a thought diary. Every time I felt down or overwhelmed or frustrated, I’d write about the situation, list my thoughts/feelings/behaviours, and then run a critical eye over them to try and rationalise them and work out where I was being unfair on myself. The more you do that, the more you can notice negative thoughts in the moment and put a stop to them, which stops the bad mood before it even starts. YMMV but as someone with a serious self-hate problem, that worked well for me.
It also helped keeping in regular contact with management and stakeholders to update them on delays. I’m prone to blaming things on myself and keeping everyone else informed takes the edge off of that, makes me feel less like I’m…I don’t know, hiding my poor performance, and more like everything is a group decision. “Okay, XYZ is late, but I told them PM it would be and they didn’t do anything to help so that’s on them…”
Kept me sane for an extra six months, until I got to a place where I felt able to look for other jobs. Hope things get better for you, or that you’re able to get the hell out of there soon.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
I’ve never seriously kept a thought diary. I’ve kept a “thought dump” but I might try to write down more thoughtful notes and later try to go over them more critically.
I especially like your idea of keeping regular contact with management about delays. It reminded me that I’ve actually done that a couple of times and it really felt liberating. Like… taking actual responsibility and not hiding it, but at the same time… somehow sharing the responsibility because you obviously can’t handle the task at hand alone.
Thank you sincerely for this comment!
I’m not sure if this information is helpful- but to tack onto what the previous commenter said one day I realized the work wouldn’t end and that was the point of my job. I know that’s sounds kind of obvious.
I have a bad habit of sort of racing towards an end goal and never stopping to be present. I do this at work as well and realizing the above has made it easier to enjoy the aspects of my position I do like, and get past the ones I don’t. All you can do is what you can do and what’s left will be there tomorrow.
And a note on hobbies- is there a way to portablize yours more? For example I love drawing, so I got an iPad and I’m able to pull it out and draw wherever. Similar story with my boyfriend buying a laptop has really increased his ability to make music. I’m not sure what your hobbies are but it may be worth treating yourself to whatever makes it easier to fit them in the pockets of time you do have.
Thank you for sharing!
I do try to remind myself that work is always there waiting for me. Even with the unmet weekly goals the work just transfers to the next week.
As for hobbies - I love drawing as well. I used to do it regularly. I do have unfinished sketchbooks but my workplace isn’t somewhere I can really draw. I probably should actively try to pursue that again. It’s somewhat therapeutic and takes my mind off of things.
Thanks again!