It looks like the lack of persistent storage for the federated activity queue is leading to instances running out of memory in a matter of hours. See my comment for more details.
Furthermore, this leads to data loss, since there is no other consistency mechanism. I think it might be a high priority issue, taking into account the current momentum behind growth of Lemmy…
Actually XDCR is not available in the community edition so that option is gone. Sorry about that.