Aaaaaaand that’s why we all got the mandatory class action related agreement notifications. Scum.

Thanks for the advice. I got a cheap amp, got it all set up, and it works a charm!

Can’t believe I forgot to include that tidbit, that they’re passive speakers.

Isn’t the motherboard itself the amplifier?

They’re just some cheap speakers I found on Amazon: Theater Solutions TS30B

According to the product description: “frequency response is 140Hz-20 kHz with 89dB at 8ohm”

And I’m sure a depressing number of people will believe it’s real