For less than $3? Somebody wanted vacation time.

*Note: Some United flights may now divert underground to give The Boring Company more tax breaks

Estée Lauder’s “cut to the chaise”

I believe he’s actually playing putt-putt golf, the one with the windmills.

Swivel the ipad 360° and walk away

I got a Trump door hanger. Meanwhile, the dems are canvassing the neighborhood on issues like public education vs charter schools. They’re doing more than just going to Kinkos.

A holocaust/genocide studies professor once told me there were two categories of holocaust deniers, and while the former were fools, the latter truly scared him:

1. “It didn’t happen.”

2. “It wasn’t a holocaust because they didn’t finish the job.”

This is veering into #2 territory when you view these deaths as some sort of portion that had “overcrowding.”

Denies it like he denies the Holocaust

I wish Joanne had gone the Enya route and finished Harry Potter and the Writing Quality of Diminishing Returns, disappeared with her wealth into the highlands, did some occasional projects, and just never spoke again. Maybe some occasional rumors would pop up about her having a panda ranch that she kept for demolition derbys or something weird. She can go suck a railroad spike.

“Mr. Zevon, I got an idea: Bawitdaba of London”

He couldn’t do anything of note without amphetamines and Warren Zevon

A pressed ham… with gravy

That’s a great question. Google brought up about as many variations as there were results. I’d probably drop in Tony Chachere’s if rushed.

What gets me is this paragraph:

It’s not the only instance of news outlets needing to be cognizant of their work being used in a political context in an unauthorized way. The AP would not discuss on Thursday whether it has needed to take action to prevent unauthorized uses of its now-iconic photograph of former President Donald Trump following an assassination attempt this summer; it will reportedly be on the cover of Trump’s upcoming book.

So it’s fine — and this article probably wouldn’t exist — provided you get kickbacks?

They’re not going to be Jimmy Dean, exactly, but he’ll flood the market with cheaper James Dean sausages. Live fast, die young.

That might explain why my shithole battleground state suddenly bounced my DL change of address over a “signature capture” despite it being apparently perfectly fucking fine for a Real ID application last year.

“The man who brings me my scarves and my water, Mr. Charlie Hodge!”

Needs more YoloSwag

Imagine that, sentient meat. I wonder what would happen if you gave a Hickory Farms summer sausage some DMT. Can sausages do DMT? Jamie, pull that up.