Putin: “Immortality” coming soon through continuous organ transplants
Putin: “Immortality” coming soon through continuous organ transplants
What do warmongers and strongmen chat about? Living forever, of course.
I would like both of them to get brain transplants and see if they survive
It won't help Putin. Organs don't help when you are falling out of a window
I fully support Putin's desire to live forever. Let's encourage him and all other billionaires to start with a young brain transplant.
In Russia, heart surgeon, #1!
Sure, cuz old sick people bounce right back easily from complex major surgeries like transplants.
I keep hearing people make this argument. This seems to presume that these insane blood thirsty dictators discussing immortality, are also rational individuals who wouldn't be willing to stockpile organs first, then die trying.
I look forward to Putin dying in agony as his body finally rejects itself entierly due to numerous transplants compounded with horrific co-infections due to all the imuno supressants he'd have to be after going throguh that many transplants. Guy is basically asking to be eaten alive by his own immune system.
_Shhhh! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!_
This is a chance he'll die on the OR table!
May the pursuit of immortality go as well for him as it did for Qin Shi Huang.
how did it go for that guy?
His tomb is so toxic archeologists can't risk opening it. Turns out mercury is really cool but not the secret to immortality.
yeah this isn't WH 40K. You can't make a "Primaris Putin" and "continuous organ transplants" are only going to top you out at a few extra years, maybe, unless this fucker has somehow struck a deal with Nurgle or Khorne or some other Warp entity.
Now if his flesh starts bubbling and his intestines are suddenly on the outside of his body and he grows a maw on his shoulder? yeah then I'd start worrying.
Has anyone seen his shoulders lately? It's been a long time since that shirtless pic of him riding a horse...
Ask that Rockefeller but you might need to go through hell to ask him in person
Let us agree now: If 50% of your organs were transplanted within the past 18 years that is not a loophole that exempts you from anti pedophelia laws.
sadly they won't get a brain transplant.
I hope he gets a brain transplant soon. He really needs one.
What a zinger!
"zinger" in Dutch means singer. That would be funny. If Putin would get a singer brain and he quits his dictatorship and wars and just goes to sing at parties instead.
Put yourself through traumatic surgery and then load yourself up with immune suppressants in a world that's gonna develop more and more pandemics.
...do it. Do it do it do it.
Traumatic surgery, sure.
But I assume the plan is to build replacement organs with your own dna, not transplants from donors.
Yeesh I didn't even think about this, but that might explain this accusation. I guess choosing from a catalogue of harvested organs to select the closest match would also decrease the need for immuno suppressants. Experts: China is sequencing Uyghur DNA for organ harvesting
Kinda makes you wonder if that's another reason they want increased genetic homogeneity and increased birthrates. Also makes me think of those catalogues of Ukrainian children Russia was offering for adoptions.
They're dictators and wealthy psychopaths.
They don't need people to donate, they'll simply take what they want, like they've always done.
They'll just live in a bubble. They practically already do, for their own safety, because almost every person on the planet wants them dead, most with good reason (some just want to take their place).
Oh boy, perpetually recovering from surgery at an advanced age!
I've seen The Strain, this ends in facist vampires and nukes
Our one saving grace in this post truth, post experts aren't Johnny with a 4 chan account world, is that these dictators are so fucking stupid. Let them think they could have multiple organs from multiple "donors". Sad part is we might lose a doctor or two when the bad hit outside the park, was dropped.
I've just had some -ectomies and ooooof that's gonna do him in at his age. It went well when I was young and I still barely survived.
No it isn't. All this microphone leak tells us is that these leaders are very far away from reality.
Man inadvertently broadcasts his insecurities and how he copes.
Yeah, other than the horrific ghoulishness of it all, organ failure after transplant and rejection is still relatively high, and you have to be on medicine to prevent that rejection your entire life. You're going down Putin old boy.
It wouldn’t surprise me if they have an island of clones to get over that problem.
You can’t get past the old brain problem though so Donny’s shit out of luck.
Yeah, you can't just stick a new engine in an old car when the frame is rusted out and ready to give way
What if you get skin, muscle, and bone transplants?
I hope to never have to experience one organ transplant. They are morons if they think this is an elective option you’d want to do multiple times. Every single time is a threat to your life.
It tells us they're fucking morons. So nothing new.
Are they hoping for Jupiter, or Repo the Genetic Opera? Because this isn't even close to Gattaca.
Either way, this has been a Science Fiction Movie.
Hey man, go for it.
“Drink the blood of children and live forever!!!!!”
Actually rich people do this, it's called Young Blood Transfusion.
Calm down Countess Bathory
Organ transplants can’t stop these
Just gotta convince 'em it 's the 1st step in a head transplant.
This.
/thread
Joseph Guillotin and the Electric Shotguns would be an amazing band name
Continuously?
"Liver is in, Bob, go fetch the next one. I'll take this one out."
Their lifetime depends on the usage I guess.
Start with the brain
Cheney is the primary test subject
So in other words, "immortality" until the brain cancer is inoperable.
Seems deeply unlikely to work. The body only has so much capacity to heal from surgery, and that capacity diminishes with age, so eventually your surgeries would become too close together and you wouldn't ever fully heal. At that point you might end up happier as a brain in a jar.
Yeah organ transplants are miraculous in the way medicine is miraculous not in the way religion is.
Medical miracles have limits and drawbacks. Organ transplants save lives and drastically improve quality of life, but it's compared to a baseline of needing a new organ. Kidney recipients would much rather deal with anti rejection meds than dialysis. Heart recipients' alternative is to die slowly.
Many rich people seem to think that shit like this will just replace their font of yang or something. They can't accept that someday all that will remain of them is dust and consequences.
Death from unnatural causes aside, there are so many potentially fatal complications involved with an organ transplant, and even if you dodge all those bullets, there is the simple fact that we degenerate at a cellular level. None of us are on this Earth for long: rich, poor, president or janitor, death will not discriminate.
It's really bad for the rich and powerful to forget that. Like partly for the people whose organs they'll steal, but also just like for their psyches. Like, they're clearly losing it.
Honestly even Rome (the republic) managed to be healthier about it. The element of the memento mori in the triumph, was just healthy. Sure you can have your great celebration honoring your conquest, but a slave will be following you reminding you that you too will die the entire time.
If I can still access and interact with my steam account, hit me up with the sign up form!
At that point you might end up happier as a brain in a jar.
They are already deeply unhappy broken individuals. They have everything and can't get any more unhappy.
One word: "Zippers".
If it does happen, it’s only going to be for the absolute worst people in the world…fortunately, they still won’t be immune to guillotines.
I swear, this time we really have found the fountain of youth!
He should start immediately... Triple heart bypass!
Can't help but think that people who want to keep themselves alive forever have fundamentally missed the point.
Makes sense why they're staying Ukrainian kids now
In Rome, during a triumph, the celebrated general would have a slave required to remind him that he would one day die.
These globe striding tyrants need this now, but one guy reminding them during their parties simply isn't enough. Every moment of their lives should feature that reminder. Like tinnitus but "Memento Mori" (or its equivalent in their native tongue).
They just need a bullet to the face. Simple.
How long before I can sell my organ futures?
Dibs on the liver
Margin call!
can't wait until he goes to hell.
Nothing a few bullets can't fix.
[off topic?]
https://bookshop.org/p/books/buying-time-joe-haldeman/PK3mbZuFGoSK5eAu?ean=9781504048583&next=t
Nice little SF adventure. In the future, you can buy immortality in decade segments. The Foundation that controls the lifesaving process demands the wealthy sign over all their assets [at least $100 million] for ten years of youthful vigor. A few finance geniuses have managed to stay alive for a century or more...
[mortality] haunt[s] people—especially aging tyrants who fear that the icy hand of death is upon their shoulder and want far more time to ensure both national and personal glory.
Show me where Xi or Putin expressed fear of mortality. Better yet, show me where Xi or Putin expressed interest in extending their lifespan.
Biological or effective immortality would be the worst fucking technology for humans to discover right now.
if I can still jerk off I'm down
Genital subscription is premium and coming is premium+ 😞 I'm sorry