Singles are in your area!
Singles are in your area!
Singles are in your area!
Holy shit, ad blockers are a thing, people. ublock origin and SponsorBlock for a safer, happier life! Browsing anything without blockers is akin to dripping dimethyl mercury on your genitalia, crossing your fingers, and wildly hoping for the best.
Dimethyl mercury? Oddly specific…
Ethyl... Tasty... May I have a sausage too?
Honestly so happy I’m married, I’m sorry for all of y’all. Dystopian times.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
At the same time, porn and propaganda have put bad expectations in some percentile of dumb men.
Both sexes are generally out of social practice, and societal trust is at an all time low. Most people are nice, but most people are also awkward.
So get out there and meet some people, don’t even do so romantically, just go learn how to interact with people, form some friendships.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
This is the case with literally everything.
Used to hear about "no-go zones" in Stockholm in my local news a lot, areas where even the Swedish police were afraid to go in to. Then a friend of mine moved to Stockholm and started going to "the worst no-go zone" every weekend to get fresh produce. The only time he felt in danger was when he stumbled upon a drunk countryman.
came back to this thread to find discourse that ISN'T cancer. thank you for your sane and gentle response. if more people had your empathy, less of them would be single and hurting.
Well what defines going out? There are plenty of board game meet ups, even if you don’t especially like board games I would posit that it’s not an objectively negative experience; so if you must hold you nose and go anyway, do so.
Secondly, although this is coming from my experience in America, so your millage may vary, there’s tons of outdoor activities and groups: go for a hike, go backpacking.
You don’t need special equipment, you don’t need to buy anything. Just a water bottle, backpack, tent/tarp, and some non perishable foods and you’re good to go.
It’s true that the convenient third places of yesterday have seemingly vanished; but people are still out there.
Hobby clubs are great for meeting new people, just don't join them for the explicit purpose of meeting potential partners.
Going out to talk with people is now impossible because everyone busy for themselves .
This is kind of like how parents don’t let their kids play out anymore because the news told us it’s all pedophiles out there.
Yeah, all the pedophiles are in the church and government.
I wholeheartedly refute the assertion this comic makes that the word 'lock' is onomatopoeic.
i think lock is an onomatopoeia and I vote
Yep, that's just how it is these days. Let me ask though, does it really matter?
If the girls are afraid of the guys, that's their problem, not yours. Stick the time into something else you enjoy, let nature run it's course. Find a job you don't hate, spend your money as you like, live a happy life without the anxiety of rejection.
does it really matter?
Does a dysfunctional society matter?
Fun fact, by doing the above, you’ll end up meeting women who don’t feel that way and are relationship material, and plenty of acquaintances who think you “don’t count” because you’re “one of the good ones”.
Not overly much - society has "dysfunctioned" along perfectly well for millennia. It will continue to be dysfunctional for many more millennia.
Better to enjoy your life and spite that dysfunction than to live under its heel.
We're finally approaching some twisted semblance of equality via men becoming afraid of women in return ._.
Men who took the lesson to heart:
Ladies don't want to talk to you.
They don't want you to approach them.
They don't want you to initiate social interaction.
Men need to be less visible, less audible, overall less perceptible, because this coincides with them being less obnoxious.
Instead of teaching them to act in less obnoxious ways, society taught them to act less--period.
And so, I now see unironic posts showing up on social media of women asking each other (paraphrased),
"Why don't men ever talk to me anymore?"
"Why don't men ever approach me anymore?"
"Even when I see men in public, they never even acknowledge me. Why are they ignoring me? What is going on?"
A lot of folks heard the pleas of women wishing men would just leave them alone. And a fair proportion of the men acquiesced.
I mean, yeah, SOME didn't, and became even more obnoxious, but the chronically unfuckable bootlicking simps of the fascist grift are more miserable now than they've ever been; The few that "seem" "successful" are just poster children of survivorship bias, pied pipers leading the naive and highly suggestible to self-inflicted ruin.
I have divested myself of this bizarre tragedy of errors. Humans are humans. I treat humans like humans. If other people project weird freaky intentions upon me while I'm JUST trying to mind my own gods damned business existing within line of sight and vague proximity, that's THEIR skill issue. AT LEAST nonbinary asexual persons never get weird at me like the ones vested in all the maladaptive notions and festooned in toxic stereotypes... and it's refreshing. Good riddance to all the outdated reproductive caste dynamics. Good riddance to the gilded cage of having to drag-perform whatever the fuck I was assigned at birth.
I've seen a lot of posts, articles etc with women making those exact complaints, and I always find them rather sad.
It's been made very clear that the majority of women don't want to be approached most of the time, especially by someone they don't know, and that's fair enough. You need to accept that you're the outlier.
The bitterly ironic part is that the men who took that to heart are the GOOD men, you know those that actually respect women and their wishes.
The asshole men, don't give a shit and keep wearing red hats and calling women FEMALES.
The whole movement has backfired hard and made it harder for women to find nice guys 😐
if girls are afraid of guys, that's my problem
I understand you but I want to continue being grossed out by the idea of people thinking I am a rapist. Purely because I don't want to be desensitized to this subject.
Am I not getting this ?
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them“
Thanks for the classification
I love how we used to worry about overpopulation as our apocalyptic societal problem of the future.
Gender-ragebait. Just post something about how persecuted you feel and move on.
Men looking for women as romantic partners is like searching for potable water in a desert.
When looking for men as romantic partners is like searching for potable water in a SWAMP.
Think you mean ocean, you can get very clean water from bogs
Single X in my area. Uses the plural form.
Well, which is it?!??
Took me longer than I'd care to admit.
has the sudden urge to spill the beans about his entire lovelife and the failures and tribulations experienced-
On second thought, NAHhhhhhh,....
Seeing memes and comics like this spread so often, I am having a hard time understanding how SO MANY GUYS are just now discovering that women aren't as horny as they are and we have different standards for attraction between the genders and sexes.
This is fine, it's normal, people who want different things still meet and crank out crotchfruit every damn day, you just have to compromise and meet in the middle on what you both want and ya'll have to get over yourselves.
Well my whole life there was this women's sexual liberation movement that has been screaming about how women DO in fact enjoy sex and ARE in fact horny too. Maybe that explains the common misconception.
Yep. When will people understand that the only way to a good and just society is to treat half the human population as inherently monstrous from birth? They should just resign themselves to a lifetime of abuse and isolation due to their physical characteristics. Anything else is misogyny.
I was lucky enough to meet my SO before online dating became the norm.
I'm just not equipped to navigate something like that.
I feel like being eternally single and lonely would be easier than having to encounter the constant rejection.
I feel like being eternally single and lonely would be easier than having to encounter the constant rejection.
Sadly, I think a lot of people are going down this route.
It's only going to get amplified as people lose more I fear
I don't even date AI.
It is yeah
Reminds me of a story. Four scientists, all male, on an expedition in Antarctica, far from any other human being. They set up camp, establish the data link to sync their email, and one of them gets an email spam of the sort "hot women in your area". The next human female was several hundred kilometers away...
The next human female was several hundred kilometers away...
...and probably more cold than "hot".
Guarantee you she was hot relative to local environmental temperatures, especially compared to women with a current latitude below 60.
Two scientists met via Tinder in Antartica and matched to each other when they were a 45 min helicopter ride away from each other .
Wow, this comment section is a nightmare
How come str8s don't consult with their local LGBTQ+ friendos? I like playing matchmaker.
Gotta have local friendos first...
(cries in very high cost of living, old rich people area)
Because with the possible exception of the bi's, you're all inherently unqualified for the job of setting up a heterosexual relationship. Why don't you ask straight men to pick out sweaters? Because we're bad at it at an anatomical level.
Sweet! More gamers!
Can I share this in !Womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone or !witchesvspatriarchy@lemmy.ca
That's not sexist at all
Women would literally rather be stuck with a bear rather than a man they do not know. So, is it sexism? Or is there a fundamental problem (read patriarchy) that makes women scared of men.
Do you think it’s sexist to report that men commit 90% of all rape and sexual assault?
1
People ask less questions if you shoot a bear.
So if I am being an asshole, I should make the "logical" jump that all single women are whores and sluts because majority of prostitutes are women.
Not all men and not all women. Generalising is never good.
That is way more than just patriarchal society. If a woman would rather be stuck in a room with a bear than a man she doesn't know, there's something psychologically wrong with that woman.
The only way you'd choose a bear over a stranger is if you have a prejudice that all men are violent or rapists. Because the bear will most likely kill you.
In college, I saw a sign that said something like 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted. Based on conversations with women around me and my own experiences, I’m pretty sure it’s actually 6 in 6 women.
Before you get upset, yes, I am aware men get assaulted too. That’s not okay either.
This is like saying that recognizing gay people are assaulted more often is homophobic
It really really isn't the same thing. Stop strawmanning.
Women who fall into this category aren't even in the dating pool.
He goes off and gets laid. She stays at home. Looks like everything works out. What's everyone arguing about? Both characters get exactly what they're signing up for, unless we have some users on Lemmy who really need to touch grass and realize that not every chick is locking their door lmao.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Honestly I don't see what makes chasing after women so special, you men have better things to do in your lives.
So go out there & enjoy your hobbies. Stop wasting your time with this nonsense & trust me; you men will still be hated but at least you'll be educated.
Chasing is fun, if you do it right.
Go out, learn some new hobbies, try new things. Make a point to at least try some things you don't like. Make new friends, and you'll probably find someone who is equally happy to find you. The chase can be fun, but don't chase a person, chase happiness, run with the pack, and find the one who is running with you.
Predators like you.
You are the epitome of "Look ladies, I'm your one true good man" energy.
UPDATE: Ooof a quick dislike huh, maybe I touched a nerve
But then women start asking me if I'm gay, wtf is wrong with me and why am I so full of myself whenever I don't want to date and enjoy solitude
Yeah exactly, notice the homophobia.
Don't even think about going there, they'll kidnap you and sell you for your organs, if not worse, it's not worth it.
men bad
Removed by Moderator — Modlog
It's crazy how women say, "I don't feel safe around men" and then men scream, "But not all men!!1!!1 I didn't do it! Not me!!!!" like why do y'all act like you've been wronged when women don't want to be raped and assaulted? Stop making it about yourself.
Edit: Remember men, when a woman says that she's uncomfortable, start yelling at her and tell her it's her fault. That'll prove her right!!! #nOtAlLmEn
If someone is judged as threatening based on their gender, they have been wronged. And what do you mean "stop making it about yourself"? Did they ask to be judged in the first place?
I have friends that get read as women who can't do stuff that would be completely normal for any cis male (like going to a festival alone) because there is a real possibility of them being assaulted, murdered or at the very least getting harassed. And even if it is only one in a hundred men that would do such things it doesn't matter if the other 99 do nothing to stop it.
I sense the argument coming, so I want to put something out there.
Let's think about this using the game Among Us for a moment, hm? Forget about the gender war for a second, just think about Among Us.
In Among Us, there are, let's say, ten people trapped on a space station, but one or two of them are actually aliens pretending to be human. Their job, naturally, is to eat the other humans, in addition to creating enough plausible deniability that they won't be caught.
Now, some common arguments.
"Not all colorful little human beans are aliens trying to eat you."
Well, we know that some of them are, and they really don't want to be noticed. So, how do you avoid being eaten, then? That's right, a little bit of paranoia. In this environment, a lack of trust becomes a survival skill by necessity.
"The 'alien' problem is overblown. In fact, I think they barely exist."
Well, we know, in this video game, that they do exist. The tic-tac people are not going to survive the game by pretending the aliens aren't there. In fact, by refusing to accuse any of your friends, you are enabling the aliens to eat more of your people without consequence.
"I agree that aliens are a problem, but why does it have to include me? I'm not one of them."
Well, in Among Us, it is not possible to know who is or is not an alien on sight alone. You are forced to, by the game itself, demonstrate to other players that you are safe even in cases where you were never dangerous to begin with. Some kind of social etiquette is necessary when our other senses, our eyes for instance, cannot help us.
"Thinking all your friends are aliens trying to eat you is prejudice. It's kind of like being racist to black people."
Well, unfortunately, in this video game, we know with certainty there are secret aliens trying to eat people. As with the point above, we're not going to solve this problem by pretending they don't exist. Is it a little bit unfair that other players are forced to distrust you? Maybe. But, you just can't build trust on this space station without somehow pacifying the alien threat that is built into the game. Every player understands this dynamic.
In real life, let's imagine we have no idea whatsoever how often male aggression presents itself. We don't know if there are or are not aliens.
We can agree, I would hope, that being an alien would be a bad thing, though, right? So, is it not enough to say "I will not be one of those men, and I will stop other people from being one of those men," whether or not those men actually exist? At worst, you've committed to a fight that will never ask you to do any fighting.
You do not have to buy into the idea that most men are monsters to be an enemy of monstrous men. You do not need to concede that you are a monster to be an enemy of monstrous men.
If you insist on fighting about this, I have one or two ideas about that.
You don't believe that monstrous men exist at all, so the paranoia is unjustified. Okay. I think that you're in denial. Talk to some of the women in your life. Ask them about what they've dealt with.
You feel insecure and lonely because people naturally distrust you. I get that. That's hard. Especially in a world where you can barely make friends without a car or money, that's really tough. To a point I've made twice, though, if monstrous men are real, if they really exist, then this unfairness you're subject to will not go away unless the thing that's causing it is dealt with. This is a non-negotiable bit of math that you need to come to terms with.
I think the problem with your argument is the measure of paranoia. It's 100% reasonable to be suspicious and cautious around men, strange or familiar, if you're a woman. The issue I think most men have to this isn't reasonable suspicion or reasonable caution, but rather the over the top reaction women online seem to have.
An example of this might be a youtube video about women checking into a hotel alone vs a man checking into a hotel alone. The man checks in and goes right to bed, the lock on the door automatically engages when the door closes. The example with the woman has her block the one way peephole, double check the deadbolt, brace a chair against the door handle, string a tight rope from the door handle to a firm anchor in the bathroom, unplug the phone, close the blinds, check that the mirror isn't see through, and sweep the room for listening devices. You see this and think it must be satire, and it might be, but then you go into the comments and there's a ton of women saying how true this is and how you gotta be careful of men when traveling alone. Every so often you'll see a comment from a man about how this is insane and all the women respond how he's privileged and doesn't understand why women have to do all this.
No man is going to begrudge a reasonable reaction to strangers and safety, but relating to a comic about seeing a spam notification about singles in your area and locking your door is ridiculous. It's this over the top reaction that men become offended by, not reasonable caution.
I like this analogy so much and it's so on-point. Thanks writing this up
At worst, you’ve committed to a fight that will never ask you to do any fighting.
Then why should i bother? Where's all the women empowerment?
in a world where you can barely make friends without a car or money
Those aren't friends... strange world you live in.
this unfairness you’re subject to will not go away unless the thing that’s causing it is dealt with.
Predators have existed since mankind has existed, it's human nature (oh, wait, this is the internet, here's a disclaimer: no, i'm not defending predators, i'm just saying they've always existed; yes, that's bad).
So what you're saying is this unfairness will not go away, ever. How nice.
Here's a third idea:
Most men aren't predators.
No one likes being generalized and discriminated against.
Men will 99% of the times be suspected of being in the wrong whenever there's any kind of gender conflict, even if they're not in the wrong.
As always, this specific topic needs nuance and cultural context, to say the least, which is something you generally don't find on the internet.
sdbiybt
Your analogy doesn't include some important details for the subject. In the game, crewmates and imposters are on different teams and only one of them can win. It's not "wrong" for an imposter to kill a crewmate because that's how they play. All players support imposters killing crewmates because it's what they signed up for. But in real life, we are on the same team. We are all crewmates doing our tasks, although I guess we have the option to kill each other. Acting as if someone doing their tasks near you wants to kill you is then a more meaningful personal judgement rather than just the impersonal scrutiny expected in a social deduction game.
More importantly, it's relevant that this is one group of people making a judgement about another group of people based on group membership. So it would be like green crewmates assuming a red crewmate is an imposter on the basis of them being red, not any suspicious activity they have noticed. If crewmates had equal innate suspicion towards each other regardless of color (as should happen in the game) then there is no issue.
Sure, but that's more a reaction to the comic than the comic itself.
I see the comic as expressing a morbid, comedic irony in reciprocal situations between the sexes: non-threatening in one case yet threatening in the other indicating a deeper issue in society.
I don't feel safe around muslims because some of them are jihadists.
Because it's seen as a primary factor in the "male loneliest" issue. Not only are we trying to get noticed in a sea of options but now we have to fight it being assumed we are just gonna molest them which making meeting people and trying to get connect extremely difficult. Frustration turns that into a crash out about how your not like that
Literally. It's the bear thing all over again. If you're offended by stuff like this, you're basically telling on yourself.
This is hilarious because women are purchasing concert tickets of a savage woman beater, Chris Brown, until they're sold out. He has a sold out show in Toronto tonight.
I guess if you can dance, sing, and look good, women will let you beat other women while they buy tickets to your show.
Honestly I just bought my ticket to see the concert venue that seats 4 billion people
I had a friend that used to bring all her first dates to the bar I tended. Just in case.
Wait.... Because so many of them turned out to be predators?... On the first date? Like it was THAT common?
How many times did you have to step in and stop things?
You risk life and limb crossing the street. It is reasonable to take some precautions like looking both ways or waiting on a walk signal. It is not reasonable to assume every driver will swerve into you when they see an opportunity.
Take care to prepare for the worst for your own safety, but don't assume the worst in others.
Dating platforms areLIFE is crawling with predatorshe FTFY
Edit: Just to add "predator" is not only the psycho that will kill/rape a woman. Any men that do not accept a NO, that thinks they are "playing hard to get", that catcalls a woman in the streets, ta makes an unsolicited comment about their body, that thinks woman are ment to do whatever they want... any of those men are predators.
Any men is a comment away from being a predator. Don't be this man
What if someone were to say, start intentionally spreading rumors about men by claiming they had seen several women raped in their lives? For the sake of population control. That sounds like it would be very effective if I could find a large enough audience.
Of course it doesn't feel great to think that people are uncomfortable and threatened just being aware that you are a single man who exists in the same environment, but if that's how it's gotta be, how do you successfully communicate that you are not a threat?
I don't.
I'm not interested in socializing with discriminating cretins who deal in absolutes and i like my peace of mind.
That's what a predator would say.
No, seriously, trust is built over time.
"Be patient out there gentlemen"
Naahhh...just give up on finding anyone
Suicide and loneliness seems like the only answer.
So just need to bio-enhance women to be super strong in order to get dates, got it.
All roads lead to dommy mommy
Isn't it hilarious that women VASTLY PREFER dating strangers than from within their own social sphere? The phenomenon of "But we're friends! is a cliche for a reason.
Do you have any statistics backing up that claim or is that purely anecdotal/an subjective assumption?